“I visited the
pumpkin patch yesterday and decided to bring home a pumpkin that in
shape appeared to be a penguin. Friends and family were mystified until I
started painting him.“
My mattress is strapped to eight roombas and I leave all my doors open at night so the roombas can go where they want to. I wake up where they want me to be. I trust their decisions.
here’s a hot take: giftwrap is dumb, 95% of the time you can just hand someone the thing and accomplish the same task. Society has conditioned us to love wrapping shit up for no reason, probably by gift wrap industry people.
Counterpoint: monkey instinct says uncovering secret bounty from colorful shell good as fuck
Never turn around to check behind you. You’ll see nothing, but once you start doing it you won’t be able to stop, and an ominous feeling will follow you until you don’t lock your house’s door behind you.
If you stand very still and listen you will hear the woods calling for you. Don’t answer. Never answer.
You’ll hear things quietly following you, hidden in the trees by your sides. It’s okay, they’re just checking on you.
Don’t be scared, but be really, really wary.
If you have a bad feeling about taking a certain path, don’t. You’ll avoid whatever is waiting for you at the end of it.
You never know what may be buried under the soil you’re walking on. Remember that every time you take a step. Pray that whatever it is, it won’t wake up.
Be careful not to step on any beetle, or you’ll never get rid of them.
If you bring a knife with you, name it. Otherwise the blade will turn against you as soon as you try to use it.
Make sure you remember the way back home. As soon as you get lost, you’re just another piece of fresh meat.
I expected this to be wholesome and now I’m vv scared
